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| I feel like I'm back in high school. The people around me who I
love to death, there is so much animosity between everyone. So
I'm stuck in the middle again. Please don't make me choose this
time. I chose last time. It's just not fair to
anyone. I don't mind people complaining about eachother to me but
please, don't get mad at me when I stick up for them to you. See
that sometimes I agree with you and sometimes I think you're
wrong. And know that I do the same for you. I stick up for
you too.
I'm tired of being stuck here. Why does this always happen to me?
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| I've never used that term so often in my life. Alienation.
And it's odd to feel like I could apply a term that I got out of one of
my classes while I'm still learning about it, to my life. And at
the same time, know that it's not what Marx really meant. But
maybe, just maybe there is some truth to it.
There is the truth. It's always there. Some are willing to
seek it and others just sit back and wait for it to come.
I don't want the quarter to end.
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| I want to do more. I want to be more. I've done a lot but
there's still so much more that I want to do. There's one more
week of classes and then a week of finals for this quarter. It
has been an absolutely horrible quarter and yet, I don't want that
friday of finals week to come yet. I can't imagine feeling worse
than I do right now, but I know I will.
I'm almost half way done with UCSD right now. It's insane.
I don't want to leave it. Maybe in two years, I'll be ready
to. But I can't imagine anything outside of this. I don't
want to.
I've been meaning to update this for a while. But I feel like
every time I go to write something, I feel like I'm just saying it to
see what sort of reaction I can get from people. To see if
anybody's out there, paying attention. It's a cheap ploy for
attention and I can't deny that.
I think I will go outside and enjoy the sun.
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| So I'm not tired and don't really feel like doing the actual assignment
that's due at 10am so instead I'll write here. I am way stressed
out right now. Seriously. I have this assignment due at
10am that I was supposed to have read 100 pages for. Oh
well. I'll make it up off the lectures. I get to drop two
of those grades anyways. I have relay for life on Saturday
through Sunday. Then I have my first paper of the quarter due on
Tuesday, which I also have to do the reading for still. Yeah, I
have a lot of reading to do. Plus, Tuesday I start my RA
training. Which I'm way excited about. YAY! We have
the SCORE bonfire on Wednesday. I have to design a blood bash
shirt for icra that night. Oh, I have to have definite specific
plans for the Rezzies invitations on monday night cuz we need to get
that order in like tuesday/wednesday. At some point before
tuesday, I also need to go watch the rest of one of the movies I had to
watch today, in the library (stupid!).
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| School sucks. Can I have another break please? That didn't count as a break.
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